Sweet Like Cinnamon
by Noa-Pearl
Summary: 1985. Catherine & Gil meet at the French Palace when Gil's working a case. Fast forward. 2006. Catherine and Gil work nights in Las Vegas, both secretly wishing the past would still be their present.
1. Chapter 1

****_Note: Hi guys. I know I have tons of unfinished stories at this point, but I'm just hoping this isn't going to be one of them. Set in, well, lots of different settings, haha! Hope you'll enjoy it, please let me know! xx.  
>Summary: 1985. Catherine &amp; Gil meet at the French Palace when Gil's working a case. Fast forward. 2005. Catherine and Gil work nights in Las Vegas, both secretly wishing their past would still be their present.<br>_

**Sweet Like Cinnamon. **

_Chapter 1._

_1985_

"Gil, you're coming with me. We have to interview about twenty lovely half-naked women in there." Detective Jim Brass told him that with a slight smirk on his face before walking backstage of the French Palace. Gil Grissom followed him with a little hesitation. His new CSI Level 2 gave him the opportunity of interviewing people with another person there. Which meant that he was now supposed to be interviewing about ten women, who were all half-naked, loved turning on men and make them all excited. Gil hated the fact that he was the one doing the interviews along with Jim that day; his people skills weren't that great. Luckily, Jim had already been able to gather all the women in one room and spoke loudly. "Hi all, thanks for waiting. We're sorry to keep you here for so long. Me and my colleague, Gil Grissom, are going to ask you guys some question. Hopefully, we'll be finished soon so you guys can go home. Thanks in advance." The women all started talking softly again as Jim turned to Gil. "Gil, you take this half of the list. I'll do the other." Gil nodded and couldn't even reply as Jim yelled: "Sarah Hellington?" A dark-haired, tall woman stood up and followed Jim as he mentioned her to do so. Gil decided that would be the best idea to do as well. He read the name on his paper out loud as he looked through the room. "Catherine Flynn?"

A pretty, petite, strawberry-blonde stood up as he said the name. Gil gulped. These interviews were going to be tough. He scraped his throat before he said: "Hi. I'm Gil Grissom. We'll just go over there and then I'll ask you a few questions, okay?" The woman nodded. "Sure." Gil walked in front of her to a little room nearby as he quickly made a mental note to himself that the first interview could've been worst; at least this girl was wearing a denim jacket and a pair of leather jeans instead of a bra and super short shorts. Didn't make her any less gorgeous though; she was beautiful.

As Catherine followed to obviously young man, she started feeling slightly embarrassed. Her job had never been something she felt ashamed of; it earned her good money that she needed for school. Yet, being with someone who was obviously around her age and doing so much better in life, made her feel bad about herself. More time to think about that wasn't available though; the man in front of her had started talking. "So, Catherine… Sit down, please." As they sat down in front of each other, Gil started to get nervous. The woman's icy blue eyes were staring at him and he wasn't sure if he was able to do the interview without getting as red as a tomato. He scraped his throat again. "So, can you tell me anything about the shooting? Did you see anything, hear anything?"

Catherine bit her lip. "I had just finished my routine and was changing my outfit backstage.. I was allowed to go home early today so I could study for upcoming tests next week. I tried to be quick, but when I was walking out of here, I heard everybody scream. I peeked my head around the door to see what was going on, and.. All I saw were all these people on the floor, broken liquor bottles and stuff… I saw someone running out the door, all black. If I'd been here a few seconds earlier, maybe I could've seen his face.. But this is all I can tell you, I'm afraid. I'm so sorry."

Gil had been enchanted by the woman's voice; so intriguing and beautiful. He felt sorry when he heard her talk about tests… She'd already been in the building for almost an hour. So much for an early night off. "That's okay, Catherine. I'm sorry we're keeping you from studying."

She waved his apology off. "That's okay. Freakin' chemistry, probably gonna fail it anyway." Gil's eyes lit up when she said the word chemistry. "Chemistry? What are you studying?" "I'm doing extra courses in Biology, Science and Chemistry. I… Never mind, you're probably gonna laugh at me." Catherine smiled shyly, something she barely did and caught her off guard; why was she getting nervous because of the man in front of her?

Gil could tell she was getting nervous, and, surprisingly enough, it made him a little more comfortable. "Don't say that, I would never do so." Catherine shrugged before she said: "Well… I eventually want to become a criminalist. I'd… I'd love to do what you and your colleagues do. Finding evidence, collecting the last piece of a difficult puzzle… It's so interesting. But, well, without a degree in Chemistry that isn't going to work."

A sudden silence overcame Gil; he wasn't sure what to say now. He didn't have any other questions for her, but something inside of him just wanted her to stay and talk to him a bit more. Catherine as well wasn't sure what else to say, so she just said: "Was that all? Can I go now?" She was about to stand up and leave as Gil decided he had to do something; he didn't want her to leave for some reason. "Catherine, wait.." He jumped up as Catherine turned around. She chuckled lightly at the sight of Gil; he looked as if he'd just realized something extremely important. "What?" "Well.. You know.. I'm a CSI. I could help you with your chemistry… If you're interested, of course." Catherine's eyes lit up as she heard the proposal. Getting help from an expert would be the best thing possible. Her face darkened after a few seconds though. "Mister Grissom.. That's extremely nice of you. But.. I can't give you any money for it, I barely earn enough to pay rent and school. But… Thanks for the offer though."

She was about to walk away again as Gil reached out and lightly grabbed her arm. "I.. I don't want any money, Catherine. I… I just want to help you." Catherine raised an eyebrow; she wasn't used to people who just wanted to help her. "You're sure about that?" Gil got confused. "Why wouldn't I be?" He let go of her arm and Catherine tried to look right through his pretty eyes. Was he honest? All she could see in his eyes was pure interest, kindness… Not a single bad thing. She smiled before she said: "I'm sorry.. I'm not used to men doing something without the need of me returning them anything." Gil nodded. "I can get that.. But really, I… I just want to help you." "I appreciate that. When are you finished tonight?" Gil shrugged. "Late. Got another nine people to question. If they all take as long as this one… It's going to take a while." Catherine chuckled. "Right. Well, then… Come meet me for breakfast. You tutor me, I'll feed you. Does that sound like an honest deal?" "I'd like that." Catherine nodded, and for a while, they just stood there, not saying anything, just staring. Catherine broke their little contest after a bit as she said: "Okay. Let me just write down my address for you then."


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2._

Catherine was wondering why she was nervous. A man was going to tutor her. But boy, wasn't he a different kind of man. Gil Grissom was one of a kind; he seemed so nice, so gentle… So unlike any of the men she'd met in the past few years. The men she met at work were all dicks; they liked to watch her dancing, to look at her breasts and her ass; they didn't care about her at all. And school, well.. Most guys in her class were at least three years older than her; that's what happens when you start working instead of finishing school. Gil, however, hadn't even tried to ogle her body before talking to her. He wasn't the kind of guy she'd date. They were usually tall. Very muscular. And usually very wrong. Gil seemed far from all three of them. She, however, felt like she was attracted to him like she'd never been before to a man. The ringing of the doorbell made her jump and immediately shook the thought of any other man away.

On the other side of the door was Gil, even more nervous than Catherine could've possibly been. Even though he had had the guts to ask Catherine the question of becoming her tutor, he was now starting to doubt everything. Maybe she'd just been fooling around with him? Why would she want him to tutor him, there were probably tons of guys telling her they could help? Gil's nerves were almost getting the best of him and he decided to just ring the doorbell without even thinking. When Catherine opened the door, he became speechless. To some, the black jogging pants and UNLV sweater she was wearing may not seem that sexy but he thought that she was by far the most beautiful women he knew, regardless of what she was wearing. Her strawberry blonde hair was up in a ponytail and the beautiful smile on her face made him feel warm inside. "Hey Gil! I'm glad you came!" She gave him a hug before welcoming him in her small apartment.

"It's nothing fancy… But.. Well.. Just, you can sit wherever you want. I'll go grab breakfast, you're hungry?" Gil smiled and nodded as he sat down on the couch. The apartment may not be fancy, but Gil wouldn't mind if Catherine was living in a tree house; Catherine's company was all he cared for. He looked around for a bit, noticing a few pictures with friends, a lot of books, a phonograph with tons of records next to it and a few candles. It was cute, and even without knowing Catherine, he was positive every single thing in the house would be reminiscent of Catherine is some way. Gil already smelled food before he heard Catherine say: "Okay, breakfast isn't fancy either… But I hope you like eggs and bacon… And some other stuff I like to throw in omelets." "I'm sure it's perfect, Catherine."

As she handed Gil his plate, the smile plastered on his face made Catherine smile as well. There was something about him that made his presence in her apartment feel so natural. As if she'd known him for a long time. After taking a bite of her own omelet, Catherine said: "So.. Gil Grissom. Before helping me with chemistry, tell me more about yourself." Gil chuckled slightly and took another quick bite before saying: "Well, I for once love your omelet. That's something you now know about me." Catherine laughed and lightly slapped him on his shoulder. "Well, thank you. But that wasn't what I was most interested in." As Catherine spoke those words, Gil felt himself falling in a kind of comfort zone he'd never fallen into. He was sitting next to a woman on the couch, close. The woman was touching him. Instead of the usual flinching he did, he felt himself getting more comfortable every second. What was that about the woman?

"Okay… Ehm… I'm originally from California. Beach life wasn't my kind of style though… All those gorgeous looking people, working out, tanning… I was kind of an outcast, interested in chemistry, science… In dead bodies." Catherine chuckled slightly. "Yeah, well, most people don't find dead bodies that appealing, no." Gil could tell she wasn't making fun of him though and smiled. "I know, I know.. Can't help what you're interested in though, can you? After university I got a job offer here, in Las Vegas, so I moved. That's been three years now, I think. Not much more to tell."

Catherine nodded. She was positive there was much more to tell about Gil Grissom but decided not to push him. There was, however, one thing she was interested in. "Didn't your girlfriend mind you moving to Las Vegas? It's quite a long trip to visit…" When Catherine asked him that question, Gil felt like panicking. He didn't have a girlfriend at that time. He never really had a girlfriend. Well, one or two maybe. But never serious, and definitely not during university; he'd been a ghost. "I didn't have a girlfriend at the time." Catherine's flirting side came up after hearing that, wondering if he was still single. She didn't dare asking though, and Gil didn't say anything about it either. He just finished eating his eggs before saying: "And what about you?"

"Catherine. Twenty-five. Born and raised in Las Vegas. I love horseback riding.. Haven't been doing that a lot lately, though. I moved out of my mom's house when I was seventeen, so instead of going to university I decided to start working as a waitress in the French Palace. I moved in with my boyfriend at the time and about two months later I was offered a job as a dancer in the French Palace. I took it, knowing it would earn me a lot more money. Boyfriend and I broke up, so I looked for something small on my own.. I've been living here ever since, and as soon as I'd earned enough money, I decided to get back to school again." Gil nodded, interested in what she'd said until the last word she'd spoken. He was wondering if she was now dating anyone, but didn't dare asking; he knew he would probably get as red as a tomato then. Both were finished eating now, and though Gil was dying to hear more about Catherine's life, he knew he was in her apartment to help her with school. That was why he said: "So… You're ready for some chemistry?"

Two hours later, when the clock almost reached ten am, Catherine started yawning. Gil noticed and asked: "When do you have school today?" "Not until this afternoon.. I can sleep for a few hours after you leave, I guess." Even though Gil wanted to spend more time with Catherine so close to him, he didn't want her to fall asleep during class due to his company. "Well, maybe we should call it quits for tonight then." Catherine lightly nodded. "Yeah, maybe we should.. You're probably tired as well." Gil shrugged; he was used to these hours. As he got up to grab his coat, he heard Catherine say: "I really, really appreciate this, Gil. Listening to you makes things so much less complicated. Wish you were my teacher." Both chuckled and as Gil made his way to the door, he said: "I can help you a couple of more times, if you'd like. Your tests aren't until next week, right?" Catherine nodded. "I can come tomorrow and Saturday if you think it will help." A huge smile appeared on Catherine's face and her eyes slightly glistered as she responded. "I would really, really appreciate that Gil." "That's what we'll do then. I'll be here tomorrow." Gil couldn't believe his own nerve, but was currently even more enchanted by Catherine's beautiful face and smile. "You're great Gil, thank you so much." In the spur of the moment, Catherine lifted herself so she could kiss his cheek, her lips lingering a bit longer then they should. All Gil could do was nod, and he was hoping he sounded normal as he said: "I'll see you tomorrow, good night, Catherine." "Good night, Gil." When the front door closed behind him, Gil started walking to his car. The place on his cheek were Catherine's lips had been seconds before was tingling. He couldn't help it; was he falling in love with a woman he barely knew?

With her mind set on Gil, Catherine started to get ready for some sleep. It had taken a lot of strength to not just kiss Gil on his lips instead, but she knew that was perhaps a bit too straight forward and probably inappropriate. She was wondering if the feelings that were started to build up through her entire body were also present in Gil's. When Catherine was about to drop her head on her pillow, the telephone ringed. She really didn't feel like picking up, but a little voice in the back of her head told said that it might be Gil. With only that in her mind, she picked up the phone and said: "Hello?" "Cath, baby, it's me." The voice on the other hand of the phone was a slap in her face. It was far from the sweet and tender voice that was Gil's; it was the voice of her ex-boyfriend who was currently travelling to some un-known place as far as she was concerned. The last time she had spoken to him was almost two weeks ago, after she'd caught him cheating on her. She'd thrown him and all of his stuff out of her apartment. He'd been yelling and knocking on her door for a while until he took off and had screamed he was going away on a trip. "Eddie? I told you to stop calling me." "Babe, I just wanted to tell you that I miss you." His slurry way of speaking was undeniable and Catherine could tell he was drunk. "Eddie.. Stop calling!" She threw the phone away and pulled it out of its plug, knowing she was taking a risk; other people may need her as well. But at least she would be getting some good night sleep now, in which she would hopefully be dreaming about het new found friend.

_Note: Hope you liked it, please let me know what you think about it so far! x_


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: Hi guys, next chapter! Not that long, but, well.. I hope you'll enjoy it anyway :) ! x**

_Chapter 3._

Between school, work and sleeping, Catherine had managed to find a nice present for Gil. She knew he had told her to not pay him, but he hadn't been saying anything about presents. Catherine knew buying the present for Gil would make her eat soup for dinner for about two weeks, but she didn't care. She just hoped he would like it. She'd bought one of the most expensive bottles of wine she could find, a 1999 Barolo Anfors Terrant Bussia-Riserva, according to the salesman one of the finest bottles in the store. It had cost her one hundred and seventy-five dollars. She made the salesman engrave the bottle with the words; _"Thanks for the best chemistry ever. xox Catherine" . _It was probably kind of cheesy, but she didn't really care. Besides, she was hoping he would pick up on the double meaning behind her words.

Gil was in front of her door at eight sharp that morning, receiving a huge amount of pancakes with syrup and blueberries as breakfast. "I could get used to this, you know," Gil murmured after finishing his plate. Catherine laughed. "I bet you could." They both stood up at the same time to put the dishes in Catherine's sink and bumped into each other while doing so. Catherine had Gil pinned against her kitchen sink, and instead of stepping away, she looked up into his big blue eyes. "Gil? I can't reach the sink if you're in front of it," Catherine said innocently. Gil's cheeks became bright red as Catherine pushed herself into him a bit more to put the plate she was holding away. She love feeling his body so close against hers, but she could hear Gil gulp every now and then. Deciding not to torture him any longer, she stepped back and said: "Okay… Let's get the studying started!" She turned around and walked to the couch, leaving Gil behind her. He let out a breath he'd been holding the entire time. Having Catherine so close was everything but unpleasant, but it did make him somewhat uncomfortable. The smell of her hair, feeling her breath in his neck.. Having her so close to him made him feel even more attracted to Catherine then he already was.

After two decent hours of studying, Catherine decided she had had enough. She was done with stealing glances at Gil when he wasn't looking and wanted to give him his present. "Gil…. I've got something for you." He was in the middle of explaining a difficult part of a text they'd just been reading and was surprised when she suddenly spoke. "But, Cath… We're in the middle of…" "Yeah, yeah, I know. But… Honestly, I'm tired, and I've got something that I really want to give to you. Wait a second." Gil looked at her with confusion as she disappeared in the kitchen, only to come back mere seconds later. "Surprise… This is for you!" She handed him a wooden chest and added: "Don't drop it please."

Curiosity took over all Gil's questions when he saw the box and accepted it as he said: "Catherine, I told you, I don't want anything for helping you." "I know… Just… Consider this a gift, from a friend to a friend." She smiled as she watched him lifting up the bottle of wine and reading the text on it. "Cath.. This isn't just a bottle of wine from the supermarket, is it?" "No." As Gil read the etiquette of the bottle, he realized it had probably cost her more then she could actually afford. "Catherine.. It's too much. Thank you." She sweetly smiled at him as he looked up. "You're welcome."

His slightly red cheeks were too adorable, and Catherine wished she didn't need an excuse to kiss them. Without thinking, she let her hand rest on Gil's knee as she said: "I know you didn't want anything. I just couldn't help it… I wanted to give you something. Something to let you know how much I appreciate your efforts." "I know you appreciate it… Thank you, Catherine." Catherine's heart started beating faster as Gil looked right into her eyes. At that same moment, Gil was just hoping he wasn't turning as red as a lobster; he felt like someone just turned up the heat like crazy. Catherine decided to take a chance, sitting as close to Gil as she did.

"Gil… Is it wrong that I want to kiss you?" A silly grin appeared on Gil's face as he wasn't too sure how to answer that question. "I… Well… I don't know." Catherine raised an eyebrow as she replied: "Well, would you want me to kiss you?" As awkward as the situation felt, Gil knew Catherine wasn't asking him the question just because she felt like making out with someone. The sparks between them as they were so close were undeniable. Instead of answering her question with his voice, Gil decided to do something that he never thought he could. He kissed her.

It started innocent at first. Their lips lightly touching, exploring the other's lips while Catherine slowly moved closer and wrapped his arms around his neck. Their mouths slowly opened as they allowed the other's tongue in, slowly dueling as they explored each other's taste. They broke their kiss after a few seconds, both opening their eyes as they looked in the other's eyes. "Gil…. Always the quiet ones who are such good kissers, huh!" Gil smiled at her before moving a bit so Catherine's head could rest on his shoulder. As he stroke her hair he whispered: "I never, ever imagined anything like this would happened." "What do you mean?" Catherine suddenly felt insecure and lifted her head to face him as she continued. "You… You didn't want to kiss me? Is it because I'm a stripper?" She was talking to fast for Gil to interrupt her as she stood up and bit her lip. "God, I feel so stupid. Of course you wouldn't like me, you're too good for me. That was so stupid of me to think. You're smart, have a good job… Why would you ever want to even go on one date with a girl that takes her clothes of for some money?"

Her eyes were getting watery as she rambled and Gil's mind started racing. What was she thinking? He could tell she was about to run to the bathroom so he quickly stood up and grabbed her arm. He could feel her flinch, which bothered him, but he decided to let it pass as he turned her around and said: "Catherine! Don't ever, ever think you're not good enough. For anyone. You're funny, you're smart, you're sweet.. And God, you're so beautiful. What.. What I meant is that I never thought a woman like you would ever be interested in me. Look at you… You're incredible."

His sweet words made Catherine feel even worse; she expected the worst of him, yet he was far from what most other man would say about her after knowing about her job. A tear fell down her face as she slowly let Gil lead her to the couch again. As she sat down again she whispered: "I'm sorry. I should've let you finish talking." He gently whipped away her tear as he answered: "That's okay. Just don't cry, please. It's all good." She dropped her head against his chest as she said: "You're one of a kind Gil, honestly. And I mean only good things with that."

_Note: Liked it? Hated it? Please let me know how you feel about it, I really appreciate it :-) ! xx_


	4. Chapter 4

**Note: Next chapter! Before starting, I really want to thank VampireGirl88 for her reviews, it's obviously no fun to get little reviews haha but I'm very happy to know that you enjoy my story and I hope you will enjoy this chapter too! x.**

_Chapter 4._

That next evening, Catherine went to The French Palace with butterflies in her stomach. Gil had been a true gentleman the night before, leaving after a few more kisses and the promise of seeing her the day after. He was so different from the men she'd dated before. Her most recent ex, Eddie, for example, was far from the man Gil was. Yes, Eddie was attractive. And every now and then, he was nice and gentle as well. But he was a little bit too fond of other women in her opinion, something she hated. She couldn't imagine Gil ever cheating on her. She did, however, slightly feel like cheating on Gil. Dancing half-naked in front of other men wasn't something he would probably too happy about. But that was something they would have to discuss later on.

Gil entered the French Palace around three in the morning. He would never tell Catherine, but he'd asked Jim if he could leave earlier. He knew Catherine was working that night, and he wanted to see her. After everything she'd said the evening before about her job, he'd been too curious to find out what exactly it was that she did when she was dancing. Gil had never been in a strip club before. He hated the words; he thought it was degrading to women. He'd rather called the women exotic dancers. Sounded so much better in his opinion. He knew Catherine was about to start around three and he really wouldn't want to miss it. He quickly ordered a whiskey before finding a table in the corner of the club, not too close to the stage but close enough to see everything he wanted. A slight bubble of excitement built up in his body as he heard Catherine's name being announced.

Just like every other night, Catherine appeared on the stage. The shimmering green bra and black, tight leather shorts she was wearing was one of her favorite pairs. They felt good. She seductively walked over to the pole before starting to move on the music. She closed her eyes briefly, wrapping her legs around the pole before slowly gliding down, lifting one leg up. The crowd started yelling in excitement; Catherine hoped it would be a good evening. As she got up again and moved around the pole, touching her body as she swayed her hips, she spotted a familiar face in the crowd. Gil. A sense of panic washed over her body at first. But when she saw him nodding, encouraging to do what she usually did, she knew it was okay. She continued her routine, imagining in her head it was only Gil she was dancing for.

After she'd finished her dance, she quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt. No private dances that night. She found Gil sitting at the bar, sipping a drink that looked like whiskey while his back was facing her. She sneaked her arms around his waist as she whispered in his ear: "Hey. Liked your show?" Gil turned his face when he heard the familiar sound in his ear and kissed her before saying: "My show?" As Catherine moved to sit on the chair next to him she said: "Yes, your show. In my mind it was just you sitting there… Made it a lot easier." Without even asking, the bartender put a drink in front of Catherine for which she silently thanked him. Gil looked at the woman next to him; she'd been beautiful on the stage. It did bother him that he was sharing her with tons of other men. The fact that she only had eyes for him however, made him smile. She moved a bit closer to Gil and rested her hand on his knee before she leaned in and said: "They let me leave early tonight. Well, actually, I asked if I could leave early tonight. We can review my chemistry once more… Or just watch a movie." Gil smiled. "Sounds like a plan to me."

Forty-five minutes later, the two were sitting on Catherine's couch again. There was indeed, chemistry involving in what they were doing. It didn't have much to do with Catherine's study books though. Her head was resting on his chest as they were watching a movie both weren't paying that much attention to. Gil had been awfully quiet the entire evening, and Catherine started wondering why exactly that was. "Gil?" "Hmm…" He played with a strand of her hair as he mindlessly watched the television screen. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine." "You sure?" "Hmm…" Catherine lifted herself from her comfortable and warm spot in Gil's arms to look at him. "What's wrong? I.. I can tell something's wrong. Is this going too fast? I know it's been only a few days since we met… I just feel so comfortable with you. Feels as if I've known you forever." She desperately searched for his eyes but he avoided hers as he replied: "I know… I don't recall myself being as good with any person as I am with you. It seems natural."

"If it's all so natural to you then why don't you look at me?" Hearing a hint of pain in her voice, Gil turned his head to look at the young woman sitting next to him. "I'm sorry, Catherine… I.. My head just keep spinning, I keep thinking…" He didn't continue his sentence and simply looked at Catherine, whose eyebrows raised in curiosity. "What are you thinking about?" Gil took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter, Cath."

"Well, obviously it does since it's bothering you. And, for the record, it's starting to bother me too." She looked at him, searching for answers, but the blank stare on his face didn't tell her a thing. Frustrated, she got up and walked to the kitchen to grab something to drink. She came back with two glasses of wine.

"Gil, please… If this has to do with me or us, tell me. If not… Well, then I suggest you go home and sleep 'cause this isn't working." Gil could tell she was both frustrated and hurt, but he was afraid that what he wanted to tell her would hurt her as well. "Catherine… I just… I don't want to hurt you." Her eyes shot to his in less than half a second as she narrowed them and said: "You're already dating someone?"

"No! God, no, Catherine, absolutely not." Relief washed over Catherine as she said: "Well, then it can't be anything to bad. What is it?" Her thumb caressed his hand as she looked at him for an answer. "Cath.. It's… It's just that… You were beautiful on that stage tonight. I just… It bothers me that there are so many men looking at you as if you're an object. As if you're not human."

A small, appreciating smile appeared on Catherine's face. "Ah…. Gil… That's sweet of you. I know it's not the most woman-friendly job in the world. But it earns the money I need for school.. For this apartment. I'm not going to do it for the rest of my life. At least I'm not planning on doing so. And, just to set things straight… There won't be a single man in that place that will ever, ever be able to replace you. I already know that after this short time. You're unique… In a very good way." She pecked his lips lightly, knowing Gil wasn't going to get the thoughts out of his head any time soon. But Catherine figured there wasn't anything else she could do about that. She got up again and said: "Are you hungry? I am…. You want a sandwich?"

Gil nodded, slightly confused about the words she'd just said. He had expected her to be offended or hurt. Instead, she'd just reassured him. He was about to answer to the things she'd said when her phone rang. All Gil could think about was who would be crazy enough to call at five in the morning. Catherine, however, yelled: "Can you pick it up, please?" A little uncomfortable, Gil grabbed the phone and said: "Catherine's house, this is Gil speaking."

He heard a male breath harshly into the other side of the horn before hearing a slurry and harsh voice yell: "Gil? Who the fuck are you, Gil? Gimme Catherine, will ya?" "I'm sorry, who is this?" "It's Eddie. Give me that bitch, now!"

Gil's eyes almost popped out of his head as Catherine walked back into the living room. "Cath… It's a man. Eddie?" An annoyed look appeared on Catherine's face as she grabbed the phone out of Gil's hands and said: "Eddie, stop calling me. Seriously, this is the last time!" Gil could hear the man yell on the other end of the phone before Catherine replied: "Eddie, stop! Go to hell." After those words, she hung up the phone and threw it behind the couch in frustration before saying: "I guess I need a new phone."

She handed Gil his food before noticing the questionable look on his face. "Sorry 'bout that. You have just been on the phone with my ex-boyfriend Eddie."

Gil was too surprised to even respond and said: "Ah."

Catherine chuckled after seeing his face and said: "Did he say some nasty things?" "Well.. Yeah." "Figures. Eddie's, well, I don't know where he currently is, but he tends to call me when he's drunk. We broke up a month ago. I should've done it earlier. He was great when we first met, but he just.. Well, he just didn't take me as serious as his girlfriend as I wish he would."

The look on Gil's face was still one of shock and as Catherine sat down next to him he said: "I just can't believe the nerve he has." "Yeah, well… Eddie doesn't really care about anything. Or anyone, I think. Just forget it." Gil knew he wouldn't be able to forget it, but nonetheless nodded and let Catherine slip into his arms again. He knew he would never let go of a woman like her. She was far from what he ever expected would be his girlfriend, but in a good way. She was perfect. Absolutely perfect.


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: Hi guys! So sorry for not updating for so long. I don't know why I always end up writing wáy too many stories at the same time and then end up being busy with way too many things to updat frequently... I really apologise. Hope there are still some people interested and enjoying this story though! xx.**

_Chapter 5._

About a week later, Catherine and Gil strolled down the Las Vegas strip on a sunny day. She had a day off of school and Gil had decided to take her out to do one of his favorite things. When they stood in front of the New York, New York hotel however, Catherine eyed him suspiciously. "What are we doing here? I've been in casinos before, you know."

"You've been on the rollercoaster here before as well?"

Catherine's eyebrows shot up after his comment and she started shaking her head. Why did she even tell him in the first place that she was afraid of heights? "Gil, no. We're not going there. I hate heights, I hate rollercoasters, we're not going to do this!"

He dragged her along though, not responding to all the complaints she made as he tried to get to the tickets booth as fast as he could. As Gil bought the tickets he could tell Catherine wasn't too excited about his plan at all. He, however, was fascinated by rollercoasters. He couldn't remember not loving to ride them and he really wanted to share that with Catherine. She was tapping her foot with her arms crossed as he walked back to her, her eyes darker than usual as she said: "You don't honestly think I'm going to do this, do you? This is insane!"

"Cath, please… Maybe you'll like it."

"Maybe I like it? Hello, are you insane? I hate these things, I'm already feeling sick in my stomach if I just look at them."

Gil smiled. Tough Catherine wasn't that tough when it came to rollercoasters. He grabbed her hand and said: "Cath… Please… I.. It would really mean a lot to me if you'd come with me."

Catherine looked into Gil's eyes and she wondered what it was about him that made her want to say okay as soon as he pouted his lips a little bit and looked at her with his big beautiful eyes. She shook her head and took a deep breath. "I can't believe I'm letting you talk me into this…. Fine. I'll go with you. But you're so going to get your payback later on."

A smile appeared on Gil's face as he led her to the entrance of the rollercoaster. He was truly excited that she wanted to come with him on the ride. He could tell she really, really disliked it and it was new to him that someone would do something just to make him happy. He'd never experienced something like that before, and it made him more then just happy knowing that Catherine would do something like that for him.

* * *

><p>Their lips were never letting of each other's as they stumbled upon the bed, her on top. His hands roamed every inch of her body before tugging at her shirt. Their lips parted for a second, both breathing deep as she undid her shirt before unbuttoning his shirt. "God, why do you need all those buttons?" She mumbled some more as she impatiently undid his shirt. She pushed him towards the bed and as his ankles collided with the bed, causing him to fall. She crawled on top of him while his eyes were glued to her satin green bra and panties. "Cath… You're gorgeous."<p>

Her lips formed into a seductive smile as she said: "Thank you. You're not bad yourself."

They both chuckled before Catherine leant down again and captured his lips with her own, pushing his lips apart with her tongue quickly after. She only let them get in touch for a split second though as she pulled back again, leaving Gil in a somewhat silly position where his mouth was open with his tongue in a slightly strange position. He opened his eyes when he realized Catherine didn't kiss him again with a questionable look on his face. Catherine chuckled and said: "Told you you were getting some payback?"

He chuckled slightly as his hands roamed her soft, pale skin before moving himself so he could kiss her again, knowing she would be giving in anyway. Their kisses became rougher and wetter, both indulged in each other's hands. When their lips parted for air Gil heard Catherine's loud pants and at that moment, he turned her over. With a smug smile he said: "Couldn't let you be in charge all the time."

"Ass."

Catherine nevertheless chuckled before pressing her lips against his again, not wanting to lose touch, knowing he would be inside of her soon. Gil kissed her neck before he said: "You're ready?"

Their eyes locked as Catherine nodded and guided Gil inside of her. It was so different then sex with Eddie had been. Truth be told, sex with Eddie was probably the only thing they were extremely good at. But it was never romantic, never soft or gentle. It was always rough, hard and quick. That was why having sex with Gil didn't feel like just having sex.. It felt like making love.

When he entered her a loud moan escaped out of her mouth. "God…" He felt good. She wrapped her legs around him, letting him get in even deeper as their tongues mingled in another passionate kiss. When both started moving it felt as if they were made for each other. It felt natural, as if they had done it for years. It felt perfect. Absolutely perfect.

When Catherine was in his arms a little later she was enlightened to still feel Gil's warm body against hers. He was playing with strands of her strawberry blonde hair as he heard her say: "That was perfect, Gil."

He kissed her and whispered: "I'm happy that was."

Gil could tell there were more emotions running through Catherine's mind as he looked at her face. She licked her lips and said: "You know, I…. I never knew that making love could be like this. And that must sound silly but, with Eddie, with other boyfriends… Things were never like this, it never felt as if was complete. It never was perfect. But with you it was. Is… You're perfect."

Catherine's sudden outburst of emotional words surprised Catherine and it made him blush. He had never imagined a woman like Catherine would ever be interested in him, let alone be with him like they had been.

He felt Catherine move to face him as he never replied to her words and as her eyes locked with his he said: "You're perfect, Catherine. Absolutely perfect. I… I would do anything for you and I'm… I can't even tell you how much you, and… And this what we have means to me."

A smile turned up on her face and Gil made a mental picture of it; she'd never looked prettier in his opinion. A beautiful smile on her still rosy lips from all the making out they'd done, a little sweat on her face that caused some shimmering on her face and a glow that was indescribable. He leant in and kissed her. She was perfect. They were perfect. Everything was absolutely perfect.

_Now my life is sweet like cinnamon,  
>like a fucking dream I'm living in.<em>

**Note: Okay, okay, I'm aware of the fact that the New York, New York Hotel didn't even exist until 1997, but I just love that rollercoaster haha, so that's why I included it in here. Little short chapter, I know, but, well, I wanted to give you guys something. Please let me know how you feel about it :) . xx.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Note: Thanks for all the super sweet messages guys, really appreciate them. Please enjoy this :) ! xx.**

_Chapter 6. _

The test in front of her wasn't lying. All three tests in front of her weren't lying. The dizziness, the nauseous washing over her every now and then… It all made sense now. Pregnant. She was pregnant. Catherine's heart was beating like crazy and she again looked at the instructions of the tests. A plus meant pregnant, a minus meant not pregnant. Three plusses were showing on the tests. She started cursing under her breath. Being pregnant hadn't been exactly on her to-do list any time soon. What worried her more, however, was the question of who the baby's father was. She and Gil had only been together for a few weeks. Catherine sat down on the cold bathroom floor, her back against the wall. What was she going to do now?

Gil noticed there was something off about Catherine as soon as he saw her after his work. She not only seemed groggy, she also seemed uptight and her mind seemed to be far away; everything he asked, he had to ask again.

When she sat down on the couch next to him and left some space in between them though, Gil knew there was something serious. He grabbed her hands, causing her to flinch, but didn't let go as he said: "What is going on, Catherine?"

"Nothing." She tried to turn her head back to the television again, but he gently pushed her head back to face him and said: "Don't lie to me."

A loud sigh escaped out of Catherine's mouth. "I…. It's hard, Gil."

"Well… We can do everything together, can't we? Now, tell me. It's okay."

He could tell she was upset as she said: "I… I did a test, Gil. Three, actually. I'm pregnant."

Gil's eyes almost popped out of his head, and if they hadn't been in this situation, Catherine would probably have started laughing because of it. Instead, she said: "Yeah. That was what I was thinking."

Gil's heart started beating faster as thousands of thoughts started spinning through his head. Catherine, pregnant. Was it his baby? How was that possible… They never had unprotected sex. Were they ready for a baby? Were they even able to take care of a child? "Cath… Are you sure?"

She rolled her eyes. "Jesus Gil, I just told you, I did three tests."

Gil let go of Catherine's head and gently pulled her closer, never losing eye contact. "I know, I'm sorry. It's just that, well… Have you seen a doctor yet?"

She shook her head. "No.. I… I'm not sure what to do right now."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… I don't know if it's yours, Gil. I don't even know if I want a child right now. I'm completely confused and I don't know what to do. I don't want this."

Catherine's eyes started welling up and for the first time since she knew about the pregnancy, tears started falling down her face. Gil pulled her even closer, holding her as the wet tears stained his t-shirt. He wasn't sure either about everything Catherine had just said. The one thing he did know though, was that if Catherine was carrying his child, it would be the most beautiful kid on earth. Something he and Catherine had created. Together.

* * *

><p>Catherine was on the doctor's table two days later. The echo had been gorgeous, bringing tears even into Gil's eyes. The only thing on Catherine's mind though, was the age of the baby. Something inside her told her that the little fetus she was seeing and hearing was much older than it should be, being Gil and hers. And it scared her to death knowing Eddie would be the father if so. She didn't dare asking the doctor the question that was on her mind though. Catherine knew those words would be spoken eventually anyway.<p>

She let out a deep breath as she heard doctor Schuller say: "So, I can't determine exactly when the baby's been conceived, but as you can tell by the fetus' size, it's been a while now. We can't yet determine the gender of the fetus though, so I would probably say it's about two months old now. I'm surprised you didn't feel anything earlier."

Two months. Two entire months. She and Gil didn't even know each other for two months. She could see the sparkle in Gil's eyes disappear as their eyes locked. The baby wasn't his.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean, you have to find him?"<p>

"He's the father, Gil, I can't just pretend he doesn't exist and that child appeared on earth by coincidence!"

Their fight. Their very first fight. About the baby that wasn't theirs. Gil was upset. Catherine had just told him she wanted to find Eddie to tell him about the baby. Gil didn't like that thought one bit though. Eddie was scum. But Gil knew he'd meant a lot to her at some point in her life, and that scared him.

"It can be our child, Catherine! Forget about Eddie, do you truly think he cares?"

Catherine threw her hands in the air out of frustration. "Gil, come on. He has the right to know, don't be like that."

"But… wouldn't you want it to be mine, Catherine? Don't you want to raise it, with me?"

"It's not about what I want, Gil, or about what you want. This is a baby. This is real, and the truth about it is not going to change if we pretend it to be something it's not and you know that."

Gil could tell she was starting to cool down as she sat down, her feet curled up underneath her as she looked up to him. "Cath…."

"Gil, why are you insisting on doing something that is wrong? It's nothing like you."

He sighed. He knew what he wanted was far from something he usually did. But he was afraid. Afraid Eddie was going to be able to wrap her around his finger. "I'm… I'm just afraid I'm going to lose you, Catherine."

She gave him a sad smile and motioned him to come over, grabbing him so she could rest her head against his shoulder, as she quietly whispered: "I know… I just don't know what to do, Gil. You're saying you want this child to be yours and raise it, but you know that ain't the truth. Would you be able to do that, Gil? But, on the other hand, are you able to raise a kid every once in a while, while it's at Eddie's place as well? I'm confused."

"About what?"

"Gil…"

"No, I mean, I get what you're confused about… Just, please, tell me you're not doubting us."

He had figured Catherine would nod and tell him not to ever worry about that because she loved him. Instead, she was all quiet. Gil slowly lifted his head and was almost afraid to look into her eyes. When he did, he could tell she was indeed in doubt. She was just biting her lip as tears fell down her face. "Cath, please…"

The tears turned into sobs and Catherine was now crying out loud as she kept repeating how sorry she was. The happiness Gil had been feeling until that morning had completely disappeared. Life suddenly wasn't so sweet anymore.

_Note: Not that long, I know, but I wanted to stop it here and update. I really hope you guys liked it, let me know how you feel about it! xxx._


	7. Chapter 7

**Note: Next chapter, first one set in, well, sort of the present haha! It may be slightly confusing but I'm sure most of you will get it quite quickly. Please enjoy! xx.**

**_Chapter 7._  
><strong>

"Hey!" Catherine walked into the locker room where she found her supervisor, Gil. "Hi Cath."

Gil didn't even look at her, as he seemed absorbed into his locker. Catherine chuckled slightly as she peeked her head next to him and said: "What's so interesting about that locker of yours?"

Gil smiled slightly when he felt Catherine so close to him, smelling the perfume that was typically her mixed with her strawberry-vanilla shampoo, but closed his locker quickly anyway. "Not that much actually. You're ready for shift?"

"Sure…" She looked at him with her eyebrows raised as he walked out of the locker room without any other words. It made her sigh. Gil and hers relationship had changed over the last couple of weeks, and Catherine wasn't sure why. She did know that she hated it though. Gil had been her best friend for years now. They'd gone through so much together and she knew she could always count on him, no matter what. Well, that was until a little while ago though. Things had changed between them a few years ago, but since a few weeks, things had definitely been stranger. Since he'd been acting all weird, something inside of her was telling her something was off. And, that that something was about to change her relationship with Gil.

She decided however not to pay too much attention to it and figured she should ask him to come over for breakfast some time soon. It had been long since they'd done that, and she definitely missed it. Catherine walked into the break room, where she found Nick and Sara, and Grissom near the sink with his coffee cup. Sara was ogling him while talking to Nick. Catherine hated that. She loved Sara as a friend and a coworker, but she hated how much Sara was interested in Gil. A little too much for her liking. Catherine quickly made her way over to the sink where she found Gil and said: "Hey. So, I was thinking… It's been so long since we've had breakfast. You want to come over after shift? I know Linds is not there anymore but, well, I hope that won't matter?"

What bothered her was that she saw Gil wasn't looking into her eyes. He looked behind her. "Hey, Gil! I'm here you know." She waved her hands in front of him, slightly pissed. His eyes switched back to hers as he said: "Sorry. But yeah, sounds good, we'll meet back in my office okay?"

Catherine smiled and was about to reply but Gil already brushed past her as he cleared his throat before announcing that night's cases. Yeah, Grissom was definitely acting strange.

At the end of shift she was about to knock on the door of his office when she heard him on the phone. She stopped her hands as if she just had frozen when she heard him speak. "I already made that appointment with her though, I'm not going to disappoint her because you don't want me to go, I'm sorry. Yes, I'll call you later. You too."

The words Gil had been speaking cut through Catherine like a knife. That didn't sound too innocent. That sounded like a boyfriend, talking to his not so happy girlfriend. She stood in front of the door, gathering the courage again to walk into his room. She knew she shouldn't be affected. He was her friend, nothing more. Well, that was what she told herself. And him. And everyone else. Catherine wanted her head to stop spinning and knocked hard on Gil's door before walking in.

"Gil, hey, you're ready?"

* * *

><p>The knock on his door barely gave him the time to prepare for Catherine's visit. He turned around as he heard her say: "Gil, hey, you're ready?" . She looked great. She had the entire shift. Which had been one of the reasons why had put her on a case with Nick instead of him. Things seemed to go less smooth between them these days. He knew part of that was because he wasn't honest with her. It bothered him. Telling her his secret scared him though. He knew he wasn't only lying to her, but also to himself.<p>

"Yes, just let me grab my stuff. You want me to cook?"

Catherine wiggled her eyebrows as she said: "Well, I can do it too but we both know you're much better."

He chuckled, hoping the thick air between them would disappear soon so their morning together would be like the old days again. As good as that was possible though.

They both took their own cars to Catherine's place, and when they entered her house, Gil noticed how things had changed. He hung op his coat and walked into the living room after Catherine, still surprised with the amount of changes. Furniture had changed, pictures had changed… He did however noticed a photo of the two of them with a very young Lindsey. Catherine caught the line of his eye and smiled as she said: "Beautiful picture, huh?"

"Yes… It has been long since I've been here Cath, isn't it?"

"Too long, yeah."

Gil and Catherine made their way to the kitchen without another word, preparing Gil's famous farmer omelets while chatting about nothing special at all. When their food was done they settled on Catherine's couch, eating with the radio on softly. Catherine was the first to speak as she said: "Why has it been so long since we did this, Gil?"

"I don't know…"

"I think we both do though."

Their eyes locked for a second and Gil knew she was right. They were both perfectly aware of the things that had changed their friendship. Being just friends in the first place had been tough enough on both. Gil knew back in the day, Catherine had tried to do what was best for Lindsey; trying to let her grow up with her dad. Gil had always been Catherine's savior though, in tons of situations. After she'd divorced Eddie, Gil had hoped he and Catherine had another shot at making things work. Being her supervisor made that slightly impossible though; he didn't want to risk Catherine's job and his own, he knew she loved her job. And then the other men came. The men that were never good enough for Catherine, the men that would never be serious with her… Yet she fell for them every single time.

Gil had decided then being her friend was everything he could be. She, apparently, didn't want anything more from him anymore and he had been okay with that. Their close friendship was better than nothing at all. Then, Eddie had died. And he had met Lady Heather. And that had indeed been where thing shad gone completely wrong.

"Cath… Let's not do this, please. I just want to enjoy breakfast and talk."

"Well, this is talking, isn't it?"

"Come on…"

"No." She put her plate down and looked at him with dark eyes. She was angry. That wasn't too good. "Listen, Gil… I hate this… Things have been different for a few years now, but lately, you've been acting so strange. I… I miss you. The you before… Before Ed died. Before you… Before you stopped caring about me, and our friendship."

"What makes you think this has something to do with Eddie dying?" Gil didn't look her in the eye. He knew she would be able to see right through him. She would know that he knew that she was exactly right.

"Jesus, Gil, we both know it does. God, you honestly think I didn't notice you missing? That I wouldn't notice that you drifted away? You didn't even call me that night, Gil. You know you didn't do a thing to help me or Lindsey go through that period, don't lie to me."

"Catherine… I don't want to talk about this."

"Well, too bad for you because I do! Everything between us has changed since then Gil and I hate it. Why was Eddie's death so tough on you that it stopped you from being my best friend… That stopped you from loving me?"

**Note: That's it for chapter seven! What do you guys think of it? Pleae let me know :) xx.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Note: Hi guys! Thanks for the patience, I know I haven't been updating a lot at all lately, I'm so sorry. I really appreciate every review and kind words that have been written to me about all my stories, including this one. I appreciate them a lot. Hope you all enjoy this chapter again, some exciting things coming up! Well, at least I hope ;). xx.**

_Chapter 8._

She looked at Gil, slightly flushed and her eyes dark of anger. He didn't reply though. He just looked at her. "Gil… Say something!"

Gil still didn't say a word though and Catherine groaned out of frustration. The noise seemed to wake him up though as he suddenly stood up and said: "I think I should go."

"Excuse me?"

"I should leave, I'm not going to discuss this with you."

"This?" Catherine walked after him as he was grabbing his coat and said: "Gil, this is us. You're being stupid right now."

He threw on his coat and replied in a low voice: "You were the one being stupid twenty years ago." He then brushed pass her without another word, not even allowing her to response. He left Catherine behind stunned. The door closed with a loud bang, causing Catherine to jump a little before she walked back to the couch and let herself fall down, absolutely stunned. So now it was her fault? Her trying to do what's best for Lindsey was a mistake, apparently. Him not giving her another chance after divorcing Eddie , or even after Eddie had died, was her being stupid.

Catherine got out of her chair without thinking too much and grabbed her car keys, racing to the car as fast as she could before hurrying her way over to Grissom's townhouse.

She stood in front of his fifteen minutes later, knowing he would've been inside for only a few more minutes. Catherine decided not to think and just act on instincts. And her instincts were currently just telling her to knock on his door. She knocked, hard, three times before waiting a bit. Gil opened within seconds, apparently oblivious that in front of his door the woman was standing whom he had left with quite a nasty remark. "Cath. Hi."

"Gil."

Gil stood in front of her with a blank stare on his face, slightly dumbfounded. He hadn't expected Catherine to be in front of his door at all. And it was far from perfect timing. "Okay, if you're not going to apologize I'm just going to start my rant now towards you."

She was about to brush passed him but he didn't let her. Catherine raised her eyebrows but decided to talk anyway. "Just listen to me then if you don't want me to come in. I'm… I'm just really upset with you to be honest. You're just being an ass and leaving me with that last stupid remark? What was that all about? I can't believe that me trying to do what was best for Lindsey, or what I thought was best for Lindsey, is stupid in your opinion…. I never… Never… Expected you to be such an ass about this. You know I hated doing what I did and I wish it had been different… I still do."

Tears were forming in her eyes as Gil listened to the words Catherine was speaking. Of course he didn't think she was stupid. Yes, he'd hated it that she left him. But he knew that Catherine thought of Lindsey. Things may not have worked out the way Catherine had wanted it, and there had been so many struggles, but she had tried. And there had been nothing stupid about that. He just wished things had been different then. And now.

"Cath… I'm…."

Gil was about to respond when they both heard a crystal clear voice coming from the living room that said: "Gil, who's at the door, honey?"

Catherine froze when she heard that voice. So did Gil. It was obvious to her what the woman inside was doing and, even more, who the woman inside was. And it made her sick. She looked at Gil and could tell he wasn't too happy with the situation either. She didn't care about that though. Instead of talking to him, she ran back to her car. Gil was still in his doorstep, watching her as she drove away. She waited until she'd turned the corner before tears started falling down her face. She stopped the car in a parking lot, quite close to Gil's place, to calm down, as some flashbacks came up. 

* * *

><p><em>"So it's all finalized now?"<em>

_Gil looked at the woman sitting in front of him on his desk, her long legs dangling in front of him as she replied: "Yeah. He finally signed them. About time, my god."_

_She pursed her red lips slightly and wanted to continue, but decided not to. She looked at Gil, waiting for his reply, that didn't seem to come. He raised his eyebrow after a few seconds and said: "So…?"_

_"So what?"_

_"You wanted to say something."_

_Catherine nodded and smiled. "Yeah, but I don't think I should. We're at work, you know."_

_Gil chuckled. "Well, yes. But I don't think a lot of people would consider you sitting on my desk and chatting with me work. I don't. Besides, shift's done in a few minutes and you've told me everything about the case that I needed to know. So I suggest you just tell me."_

_"Okay… I just… I know things have changed over the years and I know I have made some really bad decisions… But you've always been there, no matter what. I… I don't know how you feel about this, but… You and I… It's never been out of my head. I still care for you and I… I still love you. Do you… Do you want to try and make things work again?"_

_The woman in front of him was everything he could ever wish for. The beautiful, strawberry blonde hair, that she just recently had cut a bit shorter. He loved the long locks she'd had when she was younger, but this suited her as well. The beautiful icy blue eyes, her gorgeous pale skin, long legs and reddish, soft lips. And that was only the outside. He adored her character. Her fire, her passion. The love she had for her daughter, the determination she had in her job… She was incredible. But she was also his colleague. She was working on a job she loved, and so was he. She'd been working so hard to get where she was today and he knew one of them would have to quit if their relationship would be in public._

_Gil sighed and took a deep breath. "Cath…"_

_"What?" Gil moved himself closer to Catherine and put his hands on her upper legs as he said: "You know how much you mean to me… There isn't anyone in this world more important then you… I love you, I never stopped and I know I never will. But… We're working together now. I don't want you to lose your job… You need this job. Lindsey needs this job."_

_Catherine looked away as she softly said: "Work is more important than love?"_

_"No… But your and Lindsey's well-being is more important than anything, Cath. We'll still be everything we've been these past years. And, maybe, in a few years, things will be different. But I want you to get your life on track first, now that Eddie's completely out of the picture. You get that?"_

_Gil could tell there were tears in her eyes and he knew there were tears in his too. She put her hands on his as she whispered: "I get that… But I wish it would be different."_

* * *

><p>Catherine sighed, wiping the tears away from her face as she thought of those memories. He was the one who'd hold things back in the past because they'd been working together. And now he was sleeping with Sara. How ironic was that?<p>

**Note: That's it for now folks, please let me know how you feel about this one. And I would love to hear your opinions on the flashback. Would you guys like more of those or rather not? xx.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Note: Hi guys! New chapter's here! I hope you guys like it! x.**

_Chapter 9. _

Gil stared at the driveway, which had been empty for a while now, until he almost jumped up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You didn't hear me? Who's at the… Oh, well. No one, I see."

He snapped out of his daydream and realized Catherine had been long gone. He turned around to see another woman's face in front of him. Different. So very different. "Sorry Sara, it was no one. I just got distracted."

"Oh, okay, well, you're coming…"

He interrupted her before she could finish and said: "I'm going to take a shower, I'll be back down in a few minutes."

Gil didn't let her reply as he jogged up the stairs, not thinking about the woman he left behind in surprise. He knew he was being unfair to her. He did love Sara. He did. She was a sweet woman. She admired him. But she could never be Catherine. He knew Catherine was upset when he'd left her place. He wasn't sure what exactly it was that had made her so upset, but he had quite a good idea. It confused him though. He'd given up on him and her together a long time ago, deciding that being her best friend was better than being nothing at all.

He took off his clothes and threw them on the floor, wondering what to do about Catherine. He wasn't single anymore. He was dating Sara. And he'd been happy with that for a while. After today though, he was seriously doubting that happiness. Hadn't Sara just been settling for the next best thing after all? Yes, she was like him. They got along just great. But she wasn't able to thrill him. She wasn't able to give him chills up and down his spine with her presence. She wasn't able to make him as fiery and passionate as he felt around Catherine. Gil let them hot water run on his body, knowing that what he was currently thinking was unfair. To both Sara and Catherine.

Instead of driving home, Catherine ended up at a local bar near the Strip, hoping to get Gil off of her mind. It had been long since she'd tried that kind of thing. Last time had ended bad, considering Adam Novak had been not only the man she'd shared saliva with, but also a murder suspect. Gil had been incredibly upset with her afterwards, which was probably the main reason she'd stopped doing those kind of things on her own. But her excuse tonight was perfectly valid in her opinion. The whiskey tasted great in her mouth and she felt somewhat better knowing there were still guys out there that were interested in her. Not the man she wanted to be interested in her, but still. It was hard for Catherine to admit to herself that she still loved Gil, but in her drunken state, it seemed more of a fact then something that was buried deep inside of her. A hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality and she turned around to find a tall, dark-haired, handsome guy behind her.

She smiled and looked at him, wondering what his next line would be. "Hey."

"Hi. A pretty woman like you shouldn't be sitting here by herself… You wanna dance?"

In most circumstances, Catherine would've chuckled and excused herself. The guy was probably ten years younger than her, and the cheesy line he'd just been telling her wasn't working in his favor. Tonight, she didn't care. She nodded and got up as she said: "Sure."

* * *

><p>Gil tried calling Catherine another time before he realized he really should go downstairs. He'd been upstairs for almost thirty minutes now, which was quite exaggerating considering his usual five-minute showers. He'd been calling Catherine about five times though, hoping to reach her on the other end, but he constantly was directed to her voicemail. He was a bit afraid something had happened to her, and his guts told him to go find her.<p>

When he got downstairs, his eyes met Sara's. Her eyes looked puzzled and she replied: "I thought you'd come down in your sweatpants… Not your jeans. You're going someplace?"

Disappointing Sara was something he hated. He really didn't deserve her. He knew he had absolutely no rights to go find Catherine. She wasn't his girlfriend. Hell, it felt as if she wasn't even his friend anymore, even though he did want her to be. He knew perfectly well though why Catherine was always in his head, and why he was always concerned about her. He decided to do what was best though. Or at least what should be best in any other circumstances. "You're right… I just got confused, I think. This is okay though."

Sara could tell he wasn't too enthusiastic when he dropped himself next to her to watch the television, and she could feel him stiffen as she moved closer to him. She knew better then asking him about it though; he would only close him off even more and that was something Sara wasn't in the mood for.

* * *

><p>Her head was throbbing when Catherine woke up the next morning. She was relieved however that she did know what had caused that throbbing head. The night before had been fun. She'd been dancing all night with the tall and handsome guy, whose name she unfortunately couldn't remember. They had been dancing, and Catherine even remembered sharing a kiss. Nothing else had happened though, and Catherine was happy about that. She sighed; she was getting too old to do these kind of things. She grabbed her cellphone from her desk, noticing eight missed calls and two messages. She prayed it wasn't the lab; she was having the next three days off, and if she would be called in now, she would most definitely not be at her best.<p>

Another loud sigh escaped Catherine's mouth when she found out all messages and calls were from Gil. She hadn't even checked her phone since she'd entered the bar that night before, apparently. He hadn't left any messages though. The first text message he had sent said: _Are you okay?, _while the next one said: _Call me, I'm sorry if I upset you. _

She grumbled, stepping out of her bed, annoyed by both Gil and her head. Was he really clueless on why she'd been so upset or did he simply not care? She walked down the stairs to grab some aspirins and was surprised to hear her doorbell ring. The clock in her kitchen told her it was three in the afternoon. She hadn't forgotten an appointment, had she? Catherine checked her appearance in the mirror –which wasn't too perfect,- before deciding to quickly tie her hair up in a ponytail to look a little bit more fresh, before opening her front door.

Catherine almost wanted to slam the door again when she found Gil in front of it, but her actions weren't fast enough as Gil was already inside.

"Cath! Jesus, I was worried…."

She shrugged and walked back to her living room. Gil wasn't sure of what to do, and just followed her. He probably shouldn't have come. He was already doubting it the moment he had decided to go to her place, but he needed to know she was okay. "Catherine, I'm serious… I called you, you didn't answer for hours…"A cynical chuckle escaped from Catherine mouth before she said: "Well, you normally don't answer to people's calls when you're angry with them. Besides, I was busy. Now leave, I don't want to talk to you."

She walked up the stairs, hoping he would be gone if she'd get downstairs again. Catherine made her way over to her closet where she grabbed a pair of jeans and a top before going to the bathroom. Once she was inside, she couldn't help the tears falling down her face. Catherine's head was all blurry, yet one thing was crystal clear to her. She still loved Gil Grissom. And she had been okay with been just his friend as long as she knew she was still his. It made her feel like she was still the most important woman in his life, just like he was the most important man in hers. Now that Sara was in the picture, she was no longer that part in his life anymore. She knew that was the way things were supposed to be; he was her friend. But she knew perfectly well that she was feeling all that anger, and all that sadness, because she still knew Gil was the only man she wanted to spend her life with.

Meanwhile, Gil was staying put in Catherine's living room. Catherine was visibly upset and he knew he should talk to her. He sat down on her couch and looked around the room. The pictures that were there the other day as well caught his eye again. In specific the one with him, Lindsey and Catherine. The picture made him smile. The memory of the day it was made did so too.

_"Uncle Gil! You're coming to the playground with us?" A seven year old Lindsey ran into Gil's arms while yelling those words at him. Catherine witnessed the situation with a smile. How was it possible that Gil was such an unsocial person, but yet perfectly able to communicate with both her and Lindsey the best way possible?_

_Catherine walked up to the two as well as she said: "I'm sorry honey, but uncle Gil isn't finished working yet."_

_Lindsey immediately pouted, a little trick she had learned years ago. Made her look super cute and got her what she wanted most of the time from most of the people. With the exception of her mom, that was. "Uncle Gil! Please? It's been so long since you've been there with us!"_

_Catherine chuckled and Gil smiled. Catherine was right. She had finished her case already, but he hadn't finished it yet. She had wanted to help him, but when Catherine heard her talk to Nancy on the phone, he understood Lindsey was supposed to be dropped off at the lab to go with her mom. He didn't want to ruin that for her. Catherine deserved the time with her daughter after a 36 hour shift. He was actually surprised she didn't want to get some sleep first, though he knew she would do anything and everything for Lindsey. "I'm sorry butterfly, but your mom is right… I still have work to do."_

_"Please… Please?" Lindsey's pleading got to Gil, but he knew he had to finish working. It was then that he heard the dark voice of Warrick Brown. "Grissom… Nick and I can finish this. Go with them. If you're okay with me taking over."_

_"Yes! Mommy, come, we have to get your stuff! Uncle Gil, I'm so glad you're going with us! Thanks Uncle Warrick!"_

_"No problem, kiddo." Warrick patted the girl's head for a bit as he heard Gil say: "Thanks Warrick… I owe you one. Cath, let's meet outside okay?"_

_The two adults and Lindsey were in the playground twenty minutes later. Lindsey had run into a girlfriend from school, and Catherine and Gil were both happy watching her play. Gil looked at his side, adoring the sight of Catherine's lovely face that was watching her daughter with a look of pure love on her face. "She's such a sweet kid."_

_Catherine smiled. "I know… I'm so glad she still like.. Well, like this. Considering the awful example Eddie and I have been giving her."_

_Her face darkened when she mentioned Eddie's name and Gil unconsciously clinched his fists. God, he hated that man. He had hurt Catherine so bad… Gil wished she wouldn't have gone through all the things she had. He turned himself and gently put his hands on her chin, forcing him to face her. "Hey… Don't say that. Lindsey's got a great mom. You're beautiful, Catherine. You're smart, funny, sweet, beautiful… You're a great example. Don't ever think anything less." He wanted to add some nasty words about Eddie too, but decided to be the better man and not do so. He knew part of her still cared for the man, no matter how shitty he'd been._

_Catherine closed her eyes for a bit, leaning into Gil's touch lightly. He was too sweet. His words were very much appreciated though. She opened her eyes again and quietly said: "Thank you, Gil. I really appreciate that. And I'm… I'm glad you're here for her too. She loved you, you know that right?"_

_He nodded, wanting to tell her that he loved Lindsey as if she was his own child, but decided not to. Instead he pulled her closer and hugged her, happy that she accepted his gesture. Gil loved being so close to her. Smelling her perfume, her shampoo, her unique scent that marked her as Catherine and feeling the warmth of her body. Never would there be anyone he loved more than Catherine. Things may have been complicated for years between and they would probably always be, but he knew he was important for her too. And that was something he appreciated very much too._

**Note: So... Probably not my best, but I hope you guys still enjoyed it. I'm having a rough time deciding where I wanna go with this story, so if there are things you would love to see, please let me know! XX**


	10. Chapter 10

**Note: Woehoee, next chapter, haha. I hope you like it! X.**

**Chapter 9**

_"You're sure this is okay?"_

_"We're doing nothing wrong, Catherine. We're friends and friends can have breakfast." Gil gave her a reassuring smile before she decided to turn her key and let them enter her house._

_It surprised Gil how worried Catherine was about everything they did. After they'd decided to stop their romantic relationship, every single thing they did worried her. Weren't they growing back too much to the romantic level? Weren't they encouraging each other to re-evaluate their relationship status? Everything they did, seemed odd. Both were still in love, and knew it was hurting to spend time together. But they couldn't let go. _

_"So, you want me to make something? Or you wanna make your famous eggs?"_

_Gil could already tell she was way more interested in his eggs and chuckled. "I think you've already made decision. And I'm perfectly fine with that."_

_She smiled. "You wanna wash up first or something?"_

_He shook his head. "No, I'm good, I'm good. You do so, I'll make us the food while you're upstairs."_

_Catherine got downstairs fifteen minutes later, wearing a pair of jeans and a wide black sweater, her hair up in a ponytail. Gil thought she looked absolutely breathtaking. "Hey! Your timing is perfect."_

_"Well, good. I'll grab some plates. Let's eat on the couch though, I'd like to watch some television."_

_They got settled on the couch two minutes later. Gil chuckled when Catherine took her first bite, a look filled with delight gracing her face as she swallowed it. "You've outdone yourself again, Grissom, this is delicious!"_

_"I'm glad you like it."_

_They ate in silence while watching an episode of an old detective series. Even after finishing their breakfast, they kept their seat on the couch, indulged in the show they were watching. Catherine automatically scooted closer to Gil, wanting his warm body closer to hers. Gil didn't tell her to stop either. She ended up with her head on his chest, his hands wrapped around her body. "Gil… This isn't the way friends have breakfast, is it?"_

_He knew she was only stating the obvious, but he answered nonetheless. "Maybe it's not. But this is the way you and I have breakfast and watch television. And that's perfectly fine."_

_Both fought the urge to let their lips collide, trying to purely enjoy the contact they were having at that moment._

"Didn't I tell you to leave?" Catherine came down twenty minutes later, not even surprised to find Gil still on her couch.

Her sharp voice interrupted him from continuing to think about one of their many breakfasts in the fast. "Yeah, well, I figured you'd have some time to cool down and perhaps you'd be able to talk to me now." Gil's hopeful eyes looked at the woman next to him. She looked fresh. Her hair was still wet and her face shoed no traces of make-up. She was beautiful.

Catherine shook her head as she disappeared in the kitchen. She'd indeed cooled off, but still didn't feel like talking to Gil. The man was still following her though, ending up in the kitchen behind her as he said: "Cath… I'm sorry. I think I know what you're so upset about and I understand. I'm sorry."

She turned around to find Gil close to her, looking genuine and frankly, quite sad too. She couldn't get angry with him now, as a small sad smile appeared on her face. "I'm not sure if you really do understand… But I appreciate the apology."

"Tell me what I don't understand then." He sounded determined and the look in his eyes surprised Catherine. She narrowed her eyes as she replied: "You tell me what you understand first, then."

Their bodies were almost colliding, feeling each other's body heat. Catherine stepped away before their bodies touched and said: "Well… Tell me." She turned her back to him, trying to steady her breath again after feeling so close to her friend.

Gil scraped his throat, also affected by Catherine's closeness. "You're upset because I'm dating Sara. And I think you're mostly upset because I was the one who told you we shouldn't be dating because of us working together."

Catherine was stunned. Gil seemed dense sometimes, absolutely clueless. But apparently, some time to think had given Gil enough information to tie some loose ends together. She turned around, eying Gil suspiciously as she said: "Well, congratulations on figuring out my feelings, Gil Grissom."

The woman in front of Gil looked strong, confident. But Gil was aware of Catherine's disguise when she was upset, and he was quite sure that underneath that cover, she was still upset and sad. He spoke softly as he said: "So why didn't you tell me immediately?"

"Gil! When I told you there was something wrong between us you freaked and made nasty comments. Is it that weird I didn't tell you this?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, I know… I'm sorry. But I know what was bothering you now and I think we should just forget about it and continue what we usually do."

"But I don't like what we usually do anymore, that's what got us in an argument in the first place!"  
>Her eyes were getting darker and Gil wasn't sure what to do anymore. He didn't want to hear Catherine tell him more about how she felt; he was afraid it would make him want to forget about the present and turn back time, fix the mistakes he made.<p>

"I…. I think I should leave, Cath. I'll see you later at work, okay?"

Catherine wasn't sure what was happening. They were talking, apologizing and now he was trying to leave. She wasn't going to let that happen though. She rushed through her house, over to her parking lot where Gil was about to step in his car as she said: "Hey! Wait a minute… You're not leaving now that we were finally having a normal conversation."

"Cath…."

"No, no, you're not going to Cath me right now. You were right, I was upset because you're now doing something I thought you would never do. Not only because you told me it was inappropriate, also because I hoped it would hurt you just as much as it would hurt me! What if I would start dating, I don't know, Nicky? You wouldn't be too happy about that either, would you? Can you imagine how this feels for me? You dating a co-worker, even though you told me that was impossible back in the day, a decision that still upsets me every single day?"

Catherine had uttered those words without thinking. The last thing she'd told him caused her hand to fly up to her mouth, immediately regretting telling him those words. Now, he would be asking more. And then she would have to tell him eventually how she felt. How she still felt after all those yours.

It took Gil a few seconds to process Catherine's words, surprised when he realized those last words. He closed the door of his SUV again and said: "Let's go back inside for a bit."

"No, no.. It's okay. You go. Leave, it's all good."

"No, it's not." Gil was almost pushing Catherine back into her house until they'd reached her couch. They sat down together and Gil slowly said: "So… Please explain me what exactly is going on with you."

His words were tender and sweet and it almost made Catherine cry. She knew that instead of anger, she soon would be telling him what she'd been trying to hide for years now. "I'm not so sure if that's a good idea though."

Gil gently grabbed her hand, stroking it, hoping to encourage Catherine to say whatever she needed to say. He wasn't sure why he wanted to hear the words she had to say so badly. His head told him to walk away, but his heart insisted on staying, listening to his best friend and comforting her. "You know you won't scare me away, right?"

"You already were away though." Catherine bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes as Gil said: "I'm sorry… I know things have been odd between us. But I'll do everything to make things better, I promise you, regardless of what you're planning on telling me."

"You're not gonna like this though… You're not going to like me telling you that I… That I hate that you're in a relationship with Sara… Because I still love you. And that I hate that you're doing with her what you wouldn't want to do with me. That you care more about her, then you've ever cared about me."

The tears fell down her cheeks now, not caring anymore about the fact that Gil saw her cry, or the fact that he now knew about her feelings. She really didn't care anymore.

Seeing the tears falling down Catherine's face broke Gil's heart into billions of little pieces. Not only did a crying Catherine hurt him too, her feeling that he didn't care about her hurt him too. Everything she was thinking, was wrong. She'd always been the one he cared about the most. The woman he loved the most. The woman he would've loved to have spent his life with for the past twenty years. If only he hadn't been so scared…

"Don't… Don't say those things. You… You shouldn't say things that are not true."

He brushed away the tears falling from her face gently as she said: "I…I don't get it."

"You're the only person I've loved for the biggest part of my life. The only woman I've loved since I met you. There isn't a person in this world I care about more than I care about you."

His words slowly dawned on Catherine, not quite understanding what he meant. Gil loved her. He cared about her. Yet she wasn't the woman calling him honey out of his living room. "Then why are you with her, and not with me?"

Gil wanted to explain. Tell her he'd been scared of ruining their friendship. That he'd been scared of pretty much everything. He wanted to say those words but they were stuck in his throat. Instead, he decided to act on instinct. His lips slowly crashed down on hers, capturing hers gently, hoping she would respond.

Catherine wanted to push him away and ask her what he was doing. Telling him to explain first instead. But she didn't. His lips felt too good and her need for him was big. That was why she responded without doubt to his kiss, allowing his hands to slide down her hips as hers entangled in the curls at the back of his neck.

_Note: And their first kiss is history now too. Hope you enjoyed it! X._


End file.
